I Own London!
by cheri1
Summary: 10/Rose. Did you know the Doctor owns all of London? It's true and here's why! FINISHED.
1. Chapter 1

Rose sighed and stretched out on the powder blue blanket. The Doctor had brought her to Hyde Park on a warm sunny day for a bit of sunbathing. The temperature hovered around 70 degrees and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The blanket had been put down beside a large oak tree and a soft breeze was blowing, giving the air a bit of a chill under the shade of the tree. Rose kicked off her shoes and leaned back on her elbows watching while two young men nearby took off their grey jackets and white shirts so they could enjoy the sun bare-chested. Rose envied them. She wished she could take off her pink t-shirt and bra and bask in the sun like they could. But at least she didn't have to wear her leather jacket today.

She glanced over when the Doctor strolled up to her. He was dressed in his usual pinstriped suit and trainers. He walked around Rose, stepped onto the blanket and sat down. To Rose's surprise, he took off his jacket, tie and shirt and did what the young men were doing.

"Didn't think you'd take your clothes off," Rose said to him.

"Why? It's a loverly day and I'm in the mood to soak up the sun," he said as he lay back on the blanket and closed his eyes. "Gorgeous!"

"I'll say," Rose murmured, staring at his bare chest.

She quickly looked away when the Doctor opened one eye and glanced at her. Rose tried to be casual but she could feel the Doctor's eyes on her while he turned his head and glanced at her.

"You seem uncomfortable," he finally said. "Which is odd considering we're trying to relax here."

"I'm just a bit self conscious, is all," Rose lied as she stared at the two young men lying on the grass nearby.

Rose felt the Doctor's eyes on her body and she lay back and closed her eyes so she wouldn't see him out of the corner of her eye. She sensed the Doctor was turning his head and taking his eyes off her and she relaxed.

"Wanna know something interesting?" she heard the Doctor say.

"What?" Rose said, keeping her eyes closed.

"I own London."

Rose's eyes snapped open. She turned her head and saw him grinning at her.

"Right, sure you do, Doctor," she said.

"I do. All this is mine!" the Doctor said, waving his arm around. "I own it all."

"Pull the other one."

"Seriously! I own it! Want proof?"

"Yeah, I want proof that you own London," Rose said.

The Doctor sat up and Rose did the same. He put his clothes back on and stood up. Rose followed his lead and helped him fold up the blanket. They walked out of Hyde Park back to the TARDIS. Once inside, the Doctor put the blanket on the jump seat and set the coordinates while Rose stood by the console and watched.

XOXOXOXOXOX

(Ten minutes later…)

The door creaked open and Rose followed the Doctor out of the TARDIS. The Thames was directly in front of them but when she looked around she saw nothing except open countryside. There wasn't a building, landmark or a living soul in sight, save the two of them. The Doctor shut the door, walked up to the bank of the Thames and spread his arms wide.

"I AM THE DOCTOR!" he bellowed to the sky, "AND I PROCLAIM THIS PATCH OF LAND MINE FOR ALL PERPETUITY! AND WHATEVER IS BUILT ON THIS PATCH OF LAND FOR ABOUT 600 MILES IN EVERY DIRECTION BELONGS TO ME! I OWN IT!"

He lowered his arms and walked over to Rose.

"See, I own London," he said smugly.

"Bullshit!" Rose said while the Doctor sniggered.

"What? There's nothing here, yeah? I'm the first one to claim the land and whatever is built on it so I'm the one that owns London. I invented London because I told the universe it would be here before it was here. So I invented and own the patent on London and everything therein. Which means…I own you since you were born in London. You're my property."

Rose gave him a withering look and flipped him the vees.

"Don't do that to me, my slave, I own you!" the Doctor said, wagging his finger at her as they walked back into the TARDIS.

"So does that mean you own Jackie as well?" Rose said to him.

The Doctor paused on the ramp and made a face.

"Wait a tic!" he said, running back out.

Rose stood at the door and watched while he ran up to the Thames again.

"I OWN EVERYTHING HERE EXCEPT JACKIE TYLER! I DON'T WANT HER!" the Doctor yelled at the sky.

Rose rolled her eyes when the Doctor turned back around and walked back into the TARDIS.

"You're weird, Doctor. I swear you are," Rose said before she closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I was gonna stop this fanfic with just one chapter but I got another idea.

Chapter Two

Rose was sitting on the sofa reading a book when the Doctor strolled into the room, a huge grin on his face.

"Guess what?" he said as he came up to the sofa.

"You let out a fart and the toilet exploded," Rose said, not looking up from her book.

"No but that's an interesting image. No…guess what?"

"You pulled yourself between your legs and kissed your own arse," Rose said, still not looking up from her book.

"Another interesting image, wrong though. Guess what?"

Rose sighed and put the book on her lap.

"What?" she said.

"I own the Earth," the Doctor said.

"Mm," Rose said.

"Wanna see proof of it?"

Rose raised an eyebrow. The last time he did something like this, he took her back to before London was built and yelled out that he owned the land. She guessed he was gonna take her back before the Earth was formed and yell out that he owned whatever formed in front of him. She was about to decline when an idea came to her and she smirked.

"Yes, I want proof," she said.

"Follow me!" the Doctor said.

"Hm, two can play at this game, Doctor," Rose muttered to herself as she put her book down on the coffee table.

She followed him back to the console room. She figured he'd stop and take them somewhere but he went past the console and she realized they were already there. She calmly walked with him down the ramp and the Doctor opened the door. Rose looked out and saw dust and rocks and debris floating around them. In the distance was the sun.

"We have gone back to the time before the Earth was formed," the Doctor said, sweeping his arm across the view. "All of this will be Earth someday and…"

"ATTENTION, UNIVERSE!" Rose screamed, shutting him up. "I, ROSE TYLER, HEREBY…"

"Oh, no you don't!" the Doctor said, trying to slam his hand over her mouth. "The Earth is mine!"

"Like hell it is, I'm an Earthling and you're not! I wanna own the Earth!" Rose said.

"I'm a higher species and you're a lower one! I outrank you! I, THE DOCTOR, mmmph!" he said when Rose slammed her hand over his mouth.

"I, ROSE TYLER…"

Rose gasped when the Doctor wriggled out of her grasp and tried to silence her with his hand.

"You are not outranking me! I thought of the ownership bit first!" the Doctor said with a grin as he playfully shoved Rose up the ramp.

"I don't care. I'm from Earth, you're not!" Rose said.

"I saved Earth eighty bajillion zillion times! Have you?" the Doctor said.

"I don't care if you saved it a kajillion times. You're not an Earthling! This is my planet! You're just sore because I didn't stand there and let you claim it!" Rose said, backing up to the console. "And…if I own the Earth, I own London so there goes your claim as well!"

"No, you can't own London! It's valuable to me! I get income from it!" the Doctor said. "Besides I need the nine million slave laborers!"

"You don't own anything! Not even the TARDIS! The TARDIS owns you!"

The Doctor considered that for a moment.

"Yes, probably. But…I own my ears," he said, grabbing them.

"Not if I claim ownership of the Earth."

"My people came before the Earth so you can't own me!"

"You're 900 years old so you came after the Earth so I do own you," Rose said as she and him went slowly around the console.

"I'm not from Earth!" the Doctor said.

"Then you don't have a right to claim it! Ha! I trapped ya!" Rose said, pointing at him.

"I'm a Time Lord and I saved the Earth from destruction so I do have a right to claim it! Ha! I trapped you in your trap!"

By now Rose was laughing and she laughed harder as she ran back to the door for another try at claiming ownership. The Doctor grinned and gave chase.

"I, ROSE TY…AHHH!" she yelped as the Doctor came up behind her and stuck his fingers in her armpits.

"You're not getting my land claim!" he said in her ear as he tickled her armpits.

Rose squealed and tried to wriggle out of his arms.

"I, ROSE TYLER," she yelled through her giggles. "CLAIM THE EARTH…"

She laughed when the Doctor pulled her away from the door with a gleeful grin.

"FOR MYSELF!" Rose squealed as the Doctor licked her cheek repeatedly. "IN THE NAME OF MEEEE!" she squealed louder when the Doctor tickled her harder.

The Doctor chuckled as he stopped his tickling and Rose gasped for air.

"Truce?" the Doctor said.

"Truce," Rose said after swallowing air.

"Co-owners?" the Doctor said, nodding towards the open door.

"Nah, you can have the Earth, I don't want the responsibility," Rose said.

"You know what? Neither do I. I'm content with London," the Doctor said. "But now, that I've gotten you up off the sofa. How about somewhere fun…perhaps on Earth after its formed?"

"The beach? Nice and sunny?" Rose said.

"You read my mind."

Rose laughed when the Doctor tickled her armpits and gave her a wet, sloppy kiss on the cheek before letting go and running towards the open doors. He closed them, ran up to Rose, took her hand and with an infectious grin, they hurried to the console to plan their next move.

THE END.


End file.
